Riff Off

The last couple of weeks have been a blur of constant activity.  That activity primarily being building fence.  It may seem logical that when you buy a ranch you need fences to keep the cattle where you want them. Logical.  I have no idea why I didn't see this coming.  I have no idea why I didn't understand that I was now an integral part of the fence building committee.  I didn't get a vote.

I've never built fence before and had zero idea what kind of physical labor it required.  Also pretty sure I have used some of those math skills I swore I'd never use.  I now have a deep appreciation for fences and those who can build one and it not look like a drunk prank afterwards.  If I had it my way....I'd never build fence again....but...it needs to be done....and there is no end to it.  Like postal workers who have a never ending job and eventually go insane..."go insane, go insane, throw some glitter and make it rain."  Speaking of....to pass the time, I drive my family crazy by coming up with a song that starts with a word they just said, change random lyrics to be about fence building, or selecting a number that perfectly suits the moment.  That's right Aca-bitches...I challenge them to a "Riff Off" right there in the pasture.  In front of God and everybody.

Any who.

Today we were building fence and a nice rain shower popped up.  While I was thanking Sweet Infant Baby Jesus for the much needed moisture and singing Milli Vanilli's "Blame it on the Rain," I notice some calves jumping up from their napping spots.  They were bawling for their mamas and trying to figure out where they wandered off to.  It seems mama cows will just plants their babies in a location and then go about the business of stuffing their faces with food with their friends.  Human mamas take note.

One big calf was heading the opposite way from where his mother was screaming in moo language..."young man, you just stop right there and I'll get to you in a minute...don't make this harder than it has to be."  But no, he didn't listen and wandered off in the opposite direction.  Just like a man child.  He was so beautiful too...acknowledging that some times the prettiest are also the least intelligent....and men refuse to ask for directions...no matter the species.

Mama cow kept screaming to him.  He kept wandering off.  Finally, he turns around and starts heading down the line of fence we were building...mama on the other side...shaking her big bovine head.  They finally get to the end of the quarter mile section, no longer separated by five strands of barbed wire, and stare at one another.  He has worked up a thirst by now calling for her and latches on for a snack. 

I clapped joyously and started singing "Reunited and it feels so good...."

I have no idea why those people I live with think I need mental help.